Feature in The New Paper
Posted on 03.28.10 to Personal, Photography by Joan
Click on the pictures to read the article.
I was going to write an entry about the one family I photographed for the organisation I volunteer with — Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep. Then, Veena from The New Paper got in touch with me about writing about the article and I thought it was perfect timing.
Back when I first photographed the babies, their mother wasn’t keen on sharing their story, which is something I completely understand. A few weeks ago, Jasmine decided that she was ready to do a tell-all and help promote the organisation, I thought it was really awesome and brave of her. I met up with them before they went back to China, where her husband is working.
When I first saw Xavier, I nearly burst into tears at seeing how much he had grown and how well he is. He was just under a kilo when I first met him!
I had no idea what I was in for when I first signed up with the organisation. I just knew that it was the perfect way for me to give back to society while making use of my skills.
When I got the call from Jasmine then, I spent a lot of time prepping for it and was trawling through the forums for tips. I even read through the manual over and over again, to make sure I went through the right protocols in dealing with this situation.
Nothing prepared me for what is to come. I was very mindful of the emotional state the parents were in and was very careful about running through the administrative procedure with them. When it came to actually photographing them, I kicked into work mode and was very focussed. But when I was done, and stepped out, I was almost ready to collapse in a heap because of the sudden surge of emotions I was feeling.
No parent should ever have to make the very painful decision to let their kid go or watch them go through it. Ever.
I did get depressed for a while after that, but fortunately, was able to snap out of it soon enough. It was very, very hard to do it, but I am glad I did it for them. And I will still do it, if people ask me to.
This is Xavier now.
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Comments ( 10 )
Thank you for doing this. You’re amazing and inspiring.
We will definitely have to do our family pictures too.
Adele added these pithy words on
Mar 29 10 at
9:03 AM
Joan, it’s a wonderful thing you are doing. I’m so moved.
Eileen added these pithy words on
Mar 29 10 at
1:44 PM
It bring tears in my eye while reading to the article.
Joan, u did a great and meaningful job for the parents. Indeed you are correct pictures are the only thing left when a person passed on.
:)
Michelle added these pithy words on
Mar 29 10 at
3:42 PM
Hey Joan, thanks for doing what you were doing with the org. Inspiring and definitely very emotional. Can’t help but feel the pain, although will never fully understand it, till I am a parent. God bless you!
Shem added these pithy words on
Mar 29 10 at
4:04 PM
Was speechless when I saw your earlier post on this. I didn’t even know something like this existed. What a wonderful gift. I’ve actually mailed that website out to friends who are photographers in case they want to help. As a an expectant mum, I just want to say thank you for doing this. Its so easy to walk with people when they have cute chubby happy babies. No one ever really thinks about the flip side.
Judith added these pithy words on
Mar 29 10 at
4:31 PM
This is really something great that you are doing. I think you are being very giving and very strong to embark on such a journey with grieving parents. Kudos to you.
Cindy added these pithy words on
Mar 30 10 at
11:11 PM
truly a remarkable and meaningful service! what you’re doing is a very wonderful and selfless act of kindness. i was very touched by the article and ur personal entry on the NILMDTS organisation. Just wanna say it’s really a wonderful service you’re providing for grieving families.
heriati added these pithy words on
Mar 31 10 at
9:48 AM
you’re doing an amazing thing. that was absolutely heart wrenching and my prayers are with the family. i can’t imagine how much being with them must affect you too…i commend you for being brave and giving. i’ve come across people who don’t give others the room to grieve and don’t support them keeping memories. how can anyone make that judgement or decision on behalf of another. i am really glad you’re involved with the organisation. we need more people with your level of sensitivity.
jos added these pithy words on
Mar 31 10 at
10:00 AM
The work you do is amazing. I imagine you must be very affected too, and yet you continue to give your best. Thumbs up to you!
Bing added these pithy words on
Apr 01 10 at
12:25 PM
I’m trying to blink away the tears that were collecting in my eyes when I was reading the article. It touched me so much.
And, thank you for what you’re doing. =)
Rachel added these pithy words on
Apr 12 10 at
4:51 PM
