The Dog Owner’s Point of View

Posted on 08.04.09 to Personal by Joan

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I brought Clare to the playground tonight, during our walk with Dinky. The dog was leashed. We bumped into my neighbour who was walking his dogs and we went to the playground together. Our dogs were tied at the corner, while my neighbour and I took turns to watch Clare as she tackled the slides.

There were a bunch of kids there as part of a birthday celebration. As with most kids who are curious, they decided to creep up to my neighbour’s dog, even though they were scared of dogs. My neighbour’s dog, a playful pup, barked in excitement upon seeing potential playmates, which in turn, further scared the children.

At which point, one of the mums decided to pipe up, “Playgrounds are for children, not for dogs!”

Her passive aggressiveness really got to me, and I cowardly responded in a tweet, “Well, your children are behaving like wild animals so they should be removed.” My counsellor would be so proud that I channelled my anger to non-violence, at least.

Now before I get written off as a crazy dog person who expects the world to love dogs (which I don’t), why don’t you take a minute to listen to the point of view from a dog owner for once. Dog owners are usually told off, that we should be less inconsiderate of people who (sometimes, irrationally) fear dogs and that we should have some EQ and all that, but why not for once, hear us out.

While this may seem absurd to the public, dog owners actually do not want their dogs to get into trouble. No, really. Those with some modicum of intelligence want a peaceful time with their dogs during our walks, and yes, we do not want our dogs to go round biting or hassling people too.

Those of us who sometimes feel comfortable enough to unleash the dogs, is because we know that our dog can do no harm. Trust me, if I ever take ownership of a gnarling rottweiler, I won’t even dream of walking him without a muzzle, much less unleash him. We unleash our dogs, responsibly, because we just want to give our dogs a bit of freedom to run around for just a little while.

It’s kind of like how we bring our kids down to the playground in the evenings, to run off their excess energy so that they sleep like babies at night. Which brings me back to the woman at the playground.

Her kids, and others, were running amok at the playground. They were littering the place with their party favours — masks and streamers were strewn all over, bags on the slide. The kids were clogging up the slides too by sitting at the bottom and not moving, or sitting in the tube connectors and preventing others from exploring parts of the playground. On top of that, they were SCREAMING AND YELLING at each other at 9pm. It was a zoo.

Not once did I feel the need to establish the rules of the playground by yelling what I felt though. “Playgrounds are not rubbish dumps.” “Playgrounds are for kids to play in, not for them to take root.”

It’s funny how in our multi-cultural society, in which we’ve been ingrained since birth on the concept of tolerance, that many people actually are not. I may share this playground with you, but you must play by my rules.

How are we in the wrong when our dogs were leashed at the side, not disturbing anyone, and your kids come running up and screaming at us?

It’s akin to her saying that my disabled child (if I had one), who is sitting in the corner and scaring children who creep up at him because they aren’t used to his disabilities, is not welcomed at the playground. If that is discriminatory, how is it not discriminatory towards my dog?

Another thing that really got my goat about the woman’s behaviour is that it enables her children to develop an irrational fear towards dogs. Well, if you’ve been bitten by a dog before, I definitely won’t say your fear is irrational. But if our dogs, whom we know are harmless enough to be in the company of children, have NEVER so much as growl at your kids, how are we posing a danger towards them?

Let me bring up an example. Clare has a ridiculous and irrational fear towards the lion dance. It could be because they are loud and the whole concept of it being a lion, she pretty much fears being eaten alive. (Yes, she’s told me that before.)

Every week, the people at my Residents Committee (RC), have lion dance practice at the badminton court. Clare would freak out whenever we walk past and I would tell her that she has nothing to fear. I once asked the lion dance troupe if Clare could pat the lion’s head of the costume, and I told Clare that it’s just a toy and the lion wasn’t going to eat her.

I don’t enable Clare’s freak outs by not managing it — instead of teaching Clare that it’s OK to fear, I teach her to overcome it. Neither do I shout out to the RC that badminton courts are for playing badminton and NOT for lions to be prancing around.

Yes, of course, I understand that the lion dance costume is not alive while a dog is. But let me bring up the point again: dog owners actually, truly and honestly, don’t want trouble for their dogs. We usually are responsible and would know if our dogs pose potential danger to society or not. And if they do pose some form of danger, then we would warn you before hand or generally keep away.

Thunder gets a little snappy when he’s shocked. But it’s not the I-want-to-eat-you-alive kind of snap, but the Oh-my-goodness-you-shocked-me kind of snap. It’s like how when your friend scares you and you playfully smack them. But I will warn people to approach him with caution, if they feel the deep-seated desire to pat him, or if not, just don’t.

When I walk Dinky, sometimes without a leash, it’s because I know she doesn’t even have the brains to hurt a fly, much less gnaw on the feet of some human being with her teeth that are 2mm in length. OK, I exaggerate. It’s 3mm.

So instead of yelling at us all the time about how we dog owners are irresponsible, try to think for once that maybe, and just maybe, we actually don’t want to annoy you and that we actually know our boundaries with our animals. Of course, we won’t encourage our dogs to run up to Muslims. Of course, we won’t encourage them to run up and lick children. Of course, we won’t encourage our dogs to run up and jump on anyone for that matter.

We just want to peacefully co-exist, just as we try to peacefully co-exist with other people.

Edited to add:
In the event that people suddenly decide they want to start loving all dogs they see, please remember to always check with the owners first if it is OK to pet the dogs. It’s the polite and safe thing to do. Just like how it’s polite to always check with a pregnant woman if it is OK to feel up her baby bump.

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