Speak Out and Stand Up!

Posted on 05.04.09 to Personal by Joan

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I’ll admit — with age and less privacy on the internet these days, I often find myself refraining from taking a stand on any particular issue. Most times, I don’t know all the details to draw out a coherent argument. Other times, I feel the need to not get involved in these things due to the age old reasons of lack of time and energy. And of course, I was afraid that I’d be judged and flamed.

So when the AWARE saga burst into the scene and flooded social media, I never really followed up. Until people started asking me if I was going to the EGM (Extraordinary General Meeting) on 2 May that I sat up and decided to do some reading on my own.

The more I read, the more I got angry. Granted, there were many issues brought up that were debatable — the old guard was complacent, their sexuality education programme and so-called promotion of lesbianism was questionable, etc, — what riled me up was how a bunch of Christian fundamentalists staged a coup and took over the executive committee of AWARE.

Many claim that the reportage in our national media was biased. To which I disagree. They reported facts, that a bunch of christians took it upon themselves to do God’s work. Even their darling feminist mentor admitted to it, and there was proof that a pastor from the church who tried using his pulpit to support Josie & Co. So how is that biased? How other ways would you present it?

Before I continue, I want to state for the record that I’m baptised a Catholic, even though I don’t go to church anymore for a variety of reasons. (I often tell my friends that I believe I will burst into flames should I step into church, heh.) I spent six years in a Methodist primary school and two years in an Anglican junior college. My daughter is currently enrolled in a christian kindergarten where she has chapel one day of the week, just like I did when I attended the christian schools. So I am not against the religion, I do believe in the concept of God and have no qualms over the fact that my daughter sings praise and worship songs, read bible stories and learn bible verses during curriculum time.

What I took issue in the entire AWARE saga, as with 1413 others, was that these Christian fundamentalists took it upon themselves to take over a secular society to push their anti-gay agendas and their so-called version of a comprehensive sexuality education programme. Worst of all, they did it in such a sneaky manner that really leaves many questioning their moral and ethical compasses.

I agree with what many of the old guard and their supporters say: if you’re not happy with AWARE’s programmes, form your own society. Is there any need for the barbaric act of coming in, taking control, attempting to twist it to suit their own values and agendas and spend a horrific amount of money at the same time? The $90k spent on protecting their safety, installing security systems, hiring a top notch lawyer, and having to pay for an EGM that would not even have happened if things were carried out in a civil manner, was money totally and utterly wasted. You can buy a flat with that amount of money, for goodness sake! Or feed and clothe the needy for years to come.

If I had issues with the way my daughter was taught in school, I will bring it up or not enroll her, instead of plotting to take over the position of the principal and incorporating my values into the curriculum.

Some commentators of the AWARE saga, many of whom were not at the EGM on Saturday, often miss the point of why 1414 women (and some more men) cast their vote of no confidence on Josie and Co. on Saturday. It’s not that we’re anti-religion, or that we’re pro-gay. We just don’t feel it’s right that a fanatic religious body invade a secular society to push their own agenda. Simple as that. All other issues can be dealt civilly and separately.

I turned up at Suntec at 10.30am on Saturday, to help the old guards. I was tasked with the mission to go in and photograph the set-up of the hall, if Josie & Co. decided to do something funny. To their credit, they didn’t. But they did many other things that were questionable and made me seethe with fury:

1. They directed people to the wrong queues, chased us off the queuing area just because we were there early, and threatened the auxiliary police on us. They also insisted that the non-voting members not sit with the ordinary members, and wanted to kick out the old guard’s male legal counsel from the very beginning, which obviously set the wrong tone for the meeting.
   
2. They refused to turn on the floor microphones, even though they have no right to do so. To clarify the writer in today’s forum page, the crowd did not start booing and jeering until it was apparent that Josie & Co. were not going to let anyone from the floor speak till she finished pushing her agenda. It was only until their legal counsel advised them to do so, did they turn on the floor mics. And even then, it was intermittent. When they felt that they didn’t want to hear from the speakers from the floor, they turned it off again. Tell me, how does one not expect the crowd to get heckled!

   This issue of microphones really got to me, because right till the very end, Josie & Co. took control of the microphones at their whim and fancy. After disappearing for an hour to deliberate whether they should quit or not, they returned on stage, we graciously applauded them, but because they had to speak NOW and couldn’t wait for the activities on stage to finish, they turned off all the other microphones except theirs so that they could give their self-righteous speech about resigning, that they hope AWARE goes back to its original constitution and Josie, the non-president, proceeded to call the meeting an end, EVEN THOUGH SHE HAD NO RIGHT TO.

   So much for a democratic society. The tussle over the microphones from the very beginning was such a detrimental non-PR move that probably killed whatever little chances they had at winning over the crowd.

3. Sally Ang’s infamous words, “SHUT UP AND SIT DOWN”, which was also preceded by “ESCORT THEM OUT” many times in that shrill voice of hers, again chalked up more negative points towards Josie & Co. I applaud Josie for apologising immediately but Sally Ang’s contrite apology after that, which was also accompanied by another telling off, was insincere, did nothing to satiate the crowd and she should have been escorted out.
4. The removal of the press photographers because they ‘broke house rules of not using flash photography’ was just a stupid act of a power tripping. Since they couldn’t really remove any members of the old guard without being lynched, they decided to attack the weakest by throwing out the photographers, just because they could. The reason for breaking the house rule is invalid to me, since they aren’t one with upright moral values too. Granted they won leadership in the ex-co legally but they broke every other human decency rule because of their secret agendas.
5. Josie Lau’s president address, which detailed AWARE’s historical milestones was laughable. As past president Constance Singam said, ‘Thank you for highlighting the work that we have done throughout the years.’ The crowd went wild when Constance Singam asked them “WHERE WERE YOU?” in the various milestones that they so highlighted.

   Also in the president’s address, Josie took it upon herself to prepare individual powerpoint presentation slides to list down the credentials of the other ex-co members. Again, it was irrelevant to us! You can have a resume as beautiful as Obama’s and still it wouldn’t hold with us because of what happened in the past month.


6. Thio Su Mien’s pompous manner of addressing the crowed, referring to some book on women in Singapore and how she was charmed to be in it (page 72!), and her endless orders for us to “Respect your elders” really made the crowd angry. At one point, about six policemen were surrounding her and one was seen trying to get her to stop talking. I was pretty sure that if she didn’t stop, someone would lunge towards her to wrap their fingers around her neck.
7. The ousted ex-co wanted to move on to the next agenda of the meeting, after voting, which was to discuss the proposed constitutional amendments. We protested against it because most of us have not had the chance to look through it (and it was irrelevant to discuss it at that point). Their legal counsel advised them three times that it was OK to vote on a show of hands to postpone item 4 on the agenda, but still, Josie & Co. would have none of it. It was also later revealed that when asked for the proposed constitutional amendments, the people at the registration booth refused to give it to them.
8. On the topic of lesbianism, Josie said that AWARE would help a lesbian when the situation calls for it. One member of the public asks, isn’t it too late to offer help when the woman is down? Also, Josie’s reply on lesbianism and sexual education is that lesbians should make an ‘informed choice’ on their lifestyle.

   Being gay is not a choice. I once asked a gay friend how he knew he was gay. His reply to me was, when did you know you liked boys? And I realised then, that being gay was just as natural as being straight. It’s not a choice that one prefers the same sex, they are just born that way. No amount of rigourous sexuality education is going to change them to make the so-called ‘informed choice’. It’s like making a straight person attend a pro-gay course and expecting them to be gay.

   However, I accept the Christian belief that living the homosexual lifestyle is a choice. And the Christians condemn the act of living a homosexual lifestyle because it’s not ‘normal’. I also accept that Christians have the right to spread their word. But to be honest, I can’t reconcile why people were made homosexuals when they are not allowed to live the lifestyle. And I certainly don’t believe in forcing one beliefs down a non-believer’s throat.

   At the end of the day, I strongly believe that no one should be marginalised at all. I don’t want my daughter growing up in a society that’s intolerant towards anything that doesn’t seem textbook normal. This does not only apply to gays, but also to women who are divorced, single parents, teenage mums etc. When I was younger, I lost a so-called good friend when she found out that my parents were divorced. When I saw her during subsequent social situations, she would look right through me and pretend not to know me at all, even when I called out to her.

9. The sexuality education programme was taken out of context. And I agree with one old guard member who said that whoever put up the course notes online was being very irresponsible because everything was taken out of context and the course notes are confidential.

   Our dear friend Sally Ang also cited from only one piece of sexuality research and it was done in Utah. UTAH, people! How balanced is that?

10. And of course, the shocking revelation that the ousted ex-co spent approximately $90k in their one-month tenure. When they could have asked for help instead. One lady who runs an NGO told them that to operate with an NGO mentality, one would know that the last thing you would reach for is money.

There were a handful of men and women supporting Josie & Co., and the only smart thing they could muster up when they got to the microphones was, how sad it is to see a bunch of women behaving like barbarians and harassing others, that women are irrational, and that our seemingly louder voices made our case stronger. So poor, poor Josie & Co. with the soft voices. Again, who had all control over the microphones the entire time?

The crowd, after we won.

On a personal note, I also wanted to wipe out the smirks of Jenica Chua and Sally Ang, whom neither said anything smart nor constructive the entire time. I was also very peeved when Thio Su Mien and Josie said that we women are too radical and were too stupid to accept their help in making the world a better place, in their books. They expect to lead the women in Singapore?

The new ex-co.

I’m glad I stayed the entire 11 hours. I realised after everything was over, that I was too riveted to even think about going to the toilet. I stood up. I shouted. I voted. I made a stand, which was to stand up for pluralism, and to fight for the rights of all women (and men).

I’m also glad that this incident brought awareness to this group, and that I signed up to be a member (not knowing that I had to sign up for previously, as I thought that all women were naturally members of AWARE, as with all Chinese in Singapore are part of the CDAC). I also feel very inspired to contribute and I hope to learn much from the pioneers of the group, whom I’ve developed so much respect for.

Cherie & I.

Gillian, Cherie & I. Photo from The Online Citizen.

I’m so proud of the women who turned up, and feel super proud to call them my friends. Every vote made a difference, and if everyone took the mentality that as long as a there are some women going and hence, not feeling the need to turn up — we might have lost the vote. It feels so good to be part of the female population in Singapore who are passionate and fight for their rights.

Angelia, Germaine, Eleanor, Tricia, Youyen and I. Photo courtesy of Angelia.

I was twittering the entire time, till my phone died just when the results were announced. If you’re interested in reading, hop on over here.

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