The Bully

Posted on 05.28.08 to Clare, Parenting by Joan

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Clare has conjunctivitis. Methinks she might have picked it up from the playground downstairs, seeing how many kids go there to play in the afternoons. (That poor girl was so miserable at the doctor’s. She refused to open her mouth for him to check her throat, and when he finally managed to get her to open it, she started whimpering, looked utterly sad and started wailing. Aiyoh… I found myself involuntarily tearing. Does this happen to all mothers?)

After the visit to her pediatrician, we made our way to Great World City to pick up stuff from Cold Storage. I made a short detour to Zara to look for pyjamas from Clare, when I noticed this little boy, probably of about 4 years, running amok in the shop.

Before I knew it, that boy THREW SOME COINS AT CLARE, with a few hitting her leg! The maid chased after the boy who was charging towards Clare to pick up the coins (and quite possibly throwing them at her again), and did NOT apologise to us. I let it slide, but kept an eye on the boy lest he tries something again.

And I was right! He charged up to Clare and HIT HER! This time, I yelled at the boy to STOP HITTING MY DAUGHTER! And you know what his mother did? She was browsing through the racks, all but glanced at me, and continued with her shopping!!!

I carried Clare away and kept on glaring at the offending parent, and she left soon after. I was really angry, and I can’t help but feel that perhaps I should’ve told the mother off, lest she allows her son to terrorise other children again. That boy obviously has issues — he was crying, and yelling at his mummy, screaming and just being a nuisance in the store. And I find it really sad that his mother looks like she’s pumped up on drugs, oblivious to everything but her shopping.

Bad children are a product of bad parenting. Kids are all born with a clean slate, and it’s us, the parents, who paint them into individuals. So if we do a shoddy job at bringing them up, they are just going to be naughty and no one is to be blamed, but us.

Undoubtedly, there are no perfect parents either. Heck, I’ve had my ‘off’ days when I am too tired to deal with Clare and allow her to act up once in a while as it’s easier to let her be than to deal with her. But I would NEVER, EVER allow my kid to go round attacking other people in public. Worse of all, be flippant about it.

Of course I won’t go militant on her either — I won’t lock her in a bubble and I won’t shield her from all things bad.

One thing I’ve learnt from other parents, is that you do the best job as you can as a parent, like instilling the right values in them, and trust that your kid is smart enough to make the right decisions and do the right things in life.

For example, teaching them that hitting others is wrong. It doesn’t matter if the mass media show people hitting others, because your kid would know that it’s wrong and is able to discern for herself and not be influenced by it. You can’t shield them from the world, but you can teach them the skills to live in it.

As for that kid who hit Clare, I hope he gets conjunctivitis. Bwahahahahahaha! That’ll teach him to bully a kid with infectious germs!

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