The Celebration of Life
A little more than a year ago, I wrote about doing my first assignment for this organisation I volunteer with – Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep (NILMDTS).
Since then, I received a few emails from people who wanted to share their experiences of losing their babies or other photographers who were thinking of volunteering with the organisation too.
Mae shared her story about her son who was born with the condition, anencephaly. I was familiar with it because I stumbled upon it while doing my research on how to photograph babies that weren’t thriving or had already passed on. In a nutshell, the baby’s skull doesn’t close properly, which affects brain development, etc, and chances of survival is a lot less than slim.
After reading Mae’s story, I was very much in awe of the strength that she and her husband possess. I take my hat off the fact that they actually decided to carry the baby till full term, dealt with whatever happened next with much maturity and related his birth story and their decisions with grace and elegance.
I photographed them yesterday, with Mae expecting her fourth child, a girl. Matthew would have been number two.
I don’t usually share photos of my photography session immediately because I like putting things in a set, but this photo stuck out with me because of all four kids being together in it, with the bear representing Matthew. I also love the expression of the kids because it reflects their personalities quite well.
This is why I love my job so much. It’s meeting people, connecting with them, learning through their life experiences that just makes it all so worth while.
On an end note, the family whom I photographed for NILMDTS have decided that they want to share the story to help promote the organisation. The article, coming right up soon!
The Silver Lining
Everybody grab a copy of the latest issue of Style Weddings today! My photos are featured in there! :) It’s of Daniel and Zhing’s wedding I shot. I loved that shoot as it was really fun and there was so much attention paid to detail in terms of decorations! They are such a fun and relaxed couple, and the ceremony was very intimate and meaningful. You can view the gallery on my website.
It’s One Of Those Days
I’m exhausted. And it’s just not working.
I Love You, Paris
No, I didn’t take that picture above. But there’s just something about it which I love. Maybe it’s the dress. Maybe it’s the balcony. I don’t know where it was taken or who took it, but I’m willing to bet on Paris. And this is a reminder, and a promise to myself, that I will be back someday.
Swapped
I was having a discussion with my challenge producer, Keir, this morning about an episode of Grey’s Anatomy (or was it Private Practice) I watched sometime ago. (We were caught in the massive jam along ECP and were in traffic for an hour!)
It was about how the hospital messed up the tagging of babies and these two pairs of parents went home with the wrong ones — each others’.
Time passed and somehow the hospital found out about the mistake. So they called up both parents to tell them that they had the wrong babies and they had to bring their babies in to exchange for the biologically correct one.
I always wondered, and till today I can’t come up with the right answer, what I would do if that were me.
If someone called me today to say that Clare isn’t my biological child and I had to exchange her for my flesh and blood, would I? Ideally, I would keep both children, but it seems almost impossible to pick just one — the child I have taken care of and love unconditionally or my flesh and blood, whom I will also love unconditionally in time?
What would you do?
30 List: #6 Take Part In A Sporting Event
My sister, Bernice, and I before the run. Excuse the pimples. My body may think I’m 30, my face still thinks I’m a teenager.
My 19-year-old sister (NINETEEN! I CAN’T BELIEVE SHE’S ALREADY NINETEEN! I cleaned up her poop when she was a baby!), Bernice, decided to help nudge me along my 30 List by asking me sometime ago if I wanted to do a running event with her. I decided to to go for the Safari Run because [a] it was two days before my birthday; [b] it was 6.2km (and not some ridiculous number like 10!); [c] it was in the zoo so even if I couldn’t run, I could enjoy the animals.
The problem was, I didn’t anticipate wrecking my body from the mountain climb, and I did it a week before the run. So I spent most of the week recovering from it, didn’t train (again!), and was actually still in a little bit of pain during the run. I was worried because the most I ever ran was 3-4km at one go. 6.2km sounded like a massive effort.
Strangely enough, despite the fact that I was complaining a lot in the first half (I LOVE YOU BERNICE FOR PUTTING UP WITH IT), I kicked into cruise mode after that and the run was actually doable! Kinabalu has changed my life in so many amazing ways, but the most notable of all, has got to be my fitness level. However, I nearly killed myself by drinking too much water in the beginning. I was terrified of getting dehydrated, like I did in Kinabalu, so I stopped at every rest point for some water. Mid-way, I felt like puking all the water out so I stopped! Other than that, I was surprised that I finished the run without much fuss.
Although, 200m before the finish line, I ran over some gravel and just as my sister was warning me to be careful (I’m the super clumsy one in the family with weak ankles) my ankle gave way and I fell. SPLAT! I ploughed my phone right through the gravel too. That hurt as much as my scraped knee. But because we were so close to the finish line, I told my sister that we should pretend to run through it because our photographs were being taken. So, painful ankle and bleeding knee, I finished with a flourish.
I’m glad I did the run with Bernice too because it was such a great bonding session for us. We’re both so caught up with our own lives, and because we don’t live together, it’s so easy to take each other for granted.
I was so inspired by the run that I decided to start a new resolution this year: keep up with the fitness level I’m at (if not, increase it), and lose 1kg a month. So far, I’ve been running a few times a week, 4-5km each time, and I actually feel fine. I have been monitoring my weight and runs like a nazi. But this past week though because I have been doing a lot of other outdoor activities too that are making every other muscle in my body hurt. I’m slowly losing weight too and I generally feel great! Way less sluggish and healthier. Maybe I’ll be ready to take on Kinabalu again in no time!
After the run, too weak to aim the camera properly. We were more eager to eat the free ice-cream given to us instead. Yes, that’s the only reason why we ran — free ice-cream and 100PLUS.
Long Day
Long day today. But a good one too. Was photographing the ‘2nd Egypt Day in Singapore’ this morning which brought me back to the days when I went on mission trips to China with IE Singapore for work — keynote speech after keynote speech about trade and industry (which in my case, was about the education industry).
I’m racing against time to put together my TV show which goes into production in a few weeks. We’ve got an awesome team going, but I’m feeling the pressure (and am almost buckling under it). So much so that I actually had a horrid nightmare which comprised of mash-ups of everything I’m worried about. I am so going on holiday at the next break.
Friends – Kat, Kay, Ming, Ling
My SCGS classmates contacted me to do a photoshoot to commemorate their friendship. It was a walk down memory lane as we reminisced about the silly times we had at 15, 16 years old. Actually, the five of us sat in the same corner of the classroom, with Kay and I occupying the odd shortest row of tables — just three of us! We used to call ourselves the inhabitants of ‘Short Street’, which was quite funny as we constantly punned about how it described my height too. (More can be viewed at www.joanleong.com.)
Rest Point
My little girl, is really like a little girl now.
I’m exhausted. It isn’t a bad thing, really. But thoroughly exhausted. Physically. Regular programming back soon.
Shrink My Heart
A hard lesson I’ve been somewhat privileged (or not) to learning of late is — the bigger you open your heart, the more susceptible it is to getting hurt. I’ve been experiencing waves and waves of disappointment that has left me yearning for the good ol’ days when I was selfish and a recluse.
I have been asked to consider the feelings of others, but has anyone stopped to consider that my intense feelings only arise after being severely prodded? By most accounts, I let things slide.
My counsellor says I do not suffer fools gladly and does not seem to make it out to be a drastically bad trait to have. Yet, there are also those who are constantly on my back the minute I express my displeasure towards anything.
Yes, I do not suffer fools gladly. I detest avoidant cowards greatly. I abhor people who are full of talk but have no action. And I’m not apologetic about it. I’m not perfect, but at least, I try (sometimes too much).
This girl is tired (and possibly a little lost and drowning).
