I Don’t Know How She Does It
The movie, ‘I Don’t Know How She Does It‘ is a comedy about a working mum, who tries to juggle it all. I finally found time to watch it (the irony of it all) during a recent break in Bangkok, where I did nothing much except to catch up on sleep, eat good food, drink great wine, watch an insane amount of shows on my iPad, center myself and re-connect with my partner.
SPOILERS AHEAD.
For those of you who have not watched it, and intend to, please skip this blog entry.
The premise of the show centers around Sarah Jessica Parker’s character, Kate Reddy, who is a financial executive in Boston. She recently landed a big account that has her flying to New York weekly, which significantly increases her flying time, not without protest from her family, especially her children. She does get support from her husband, who also lands an attractive job, and the show trails her difficulties in trying to balance it all — particularly, work and family.
This show is almost the story of my life.
Work life
We see humourous scenes of working mothers being belittled by what I affectionately call ‘Nazi Mothers’ — stay-at-home-mums who are nothing short of perfection and parent with very strict rules with little or no room for deviation. I always feel that Clare’s teachers go out of their way to make me feel less of a mum whenever I speak to them and they talk about my work and how it impacts on Clare’s education and well-being. Particularly with raised eyebrows and the whole ‘Oh yes, you haven’t really been around’ routine.
We see Kate having to keep up with work doubly as hard because the singletons judge her otherwise and others are ready to pounce on her weakness. I always feel that the working world can be quite unforgiving to mums because we are seen less than capable, especially when we have to attend to a family emergency. Or we have less time to commit to work, even when it’s after work.
Family life
We see Kate having to deal with her children being upset that mummy is not always there. Sometimes, she misses out on the ‘firsts’, such as her son’s first hair cut. I haven’t been able to send Clare to ballet class, since she started it about a month ago, and when I come back from a long work trip, she lets me know about her unhappiness for a day or two. Can’t blame her.
Personal life
But the very heart of it all, Kate loves her job and is unapologetic about it. She understands the difficulties that comes with it, but it is who she is. What I really like about the show, is that it kept away from fairytale endings, which would probably have Kate quitting her job and everybody live happily ever after. But she didn’t. In fact, she told her husband that she understands the limitations, but does not want to give up and want to make things work. She promises to try even harder, work even harder, be a better mum and wife.
That’s what I strive to be too. To always be a better person, better mum, better everything and to excel in all areas, as much as I struggle with bits of it. Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like, if I chose a different path. I could do things differently, but will I be fulfilled? I don’t want Clare to learn that life should be lived in mediocrity. Instead, it should be lived to the fullest!
Most days, I wake up feeling very lucky for having the life that I have – great job (super stressful most times!), great kid (super cute and super wonderful, but can also be super trying), great life experiences (some super painful). But I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
Adieu 2011
A little more than 4 hours and counting down to a brand new year. I’m sitting here, watching a couple of my sisters play with Clare and feeling blessed.
2011 was a big year for me in terms of personal growth. I never thought that there was much more room of developing who I am, but I was wrong.
I’ve refined, fine-tuned, stretched the boundaries of being a parent. I’m thankful that I have great support in that department and that T and I work in strong partnership in raising Clare.
In relationships around me, I’ve mended some, strengthened some, revived some, stretched some, destroyed some and gave up some. None of which I regret.
I’ve learnt to understand others better, accept things better, understand me better and become a better person by changing the bits of me that need to be changed. I’ve also learnt when to put my foot down, when to say ‘no’ and when to say ‘it’s not alright’.
I’ve been pushed to extreme limits again, and it always serves to be a great reminder about the depth of my strength and how, no matter what, I will always make it through fine even when it most certainly does not feel like it.
I got to travel around the world, two and a half times. I’ve seen more, experienced more, understood more than I ever did in my lifetime. For that, I’m grateful. I used to be apathetic about the on goings of the world, but now I love reading the news, I want to know more and I want to live more. Some of the new places I’ve been to — Dubrovnik, Croatia; Budapest, Hungary; Krakow, Poland; Koh Samui and Bangkok, Thailand (yes! I finally made it to Bangkok, after trying to get there a few times). I went back to Hong Kong and Prague, Czech Republic again, spent wonderful time in Noosa, Australia and quite a few trips to Sydney and Melbourne. There were so many more cool places I’ve been to this year, which I can’t wait to share about when that show goes to air next year.
This was a year of extreme highs and extreme lows, and lots in between. There were many firsts for me, many new achievements, many more milestones reached. I loved lots of 2011 and hated bits of it.
I’m looking forward to changes and growth in 2012.
One of my favourite places – Dubrovnik, Croatia.
I took more airplanes than any form of public transport this year, something which I am actually very thankful for.
My family — am so grateful for them.
Hot Wheels Wall Tracks
After a month of being on the road for work, I came back home to a daughter who has forgotten how to pack her toys (because grandma’s house has hired help). Clare’s idea of packing up her room was to push all her toys against the wall. Which I found less than funny, of course. I had a mini showdown with her to get her to put everything back onto the shelves, which has been rather effective since.
For Christmas, the lovely people at T\PR gifted Clare a set of Mattel’s Hot Wheels Wall Tracks. Best invention EVER! You stick the tracks on the wall (using 3M’s Command Strips, so your walls don’t get destroyed) and keeps the clutter off the floor! (Except when the cars go zooming off!)
Clare was very excited to play with the toy, flipping and turning the movable bits of the track. And this mummy is happier too, for not having to nag the little one to pick her toys off the floor.
Still A Mum
Even though you’ve been away for a month, you’re still a mum.
Even though you’re thoroughly exhausted, you’re still a mum.
Even though it pains your heart to discipline your child because of the above, you’re still a mum.
Can’t wait to catch a break and just relax with my child.
Gun To Head
Got this from my new favourite show – Suits.
What do you do if you have a gun pointed to your head? Do you do as told or do you fight back?
Do you think you have a choice or not? Tell me. I’d love to hear your thoughts.
Singapore
We shot half the finale in Singapore. Was to stressed and busy to take much photos, but managed to take some at my challenge. Contestants had to cut open durians with an opera troupe playing in the background. I thought it looked gorgeous … and guess what?! It was my idea to do it with the opera troupe.
All the photos (I only showed selects in the past few entries), can be viewed here.
Prague, Czech Republic
This was my last destination before I had to return home to produce my country episode. Prague, Czech Republic. It’s a gorgeous place, and I was so underprepared for the cold during shoot day. Some of the other girls too, so each time we passed a male crew, they passed bits of clothing they could spare to us. How nice.
Prague Castle, changing of the guards
Town Square
Strelecky Island
Powder Tower
My other challenge was at restaurant in a beer factory, where contestants had to eat sausages. They also get a visual treat of the bits that make up the sausages too! Being Chinese, I did all the laying out of the innards.
Town Square at night
Really cool restaurant I went to
Cape Town, South Africa
We hopped on over to Cape Town next. Again, I had one of the most fantastic locations — sand dunes. Never been at one before and was baking big time, while getting some type of flies stuck to my sun screened body.
The shadow looks like the shape of Australia, doesn’t it?
Our art guy, John, had white paint sprayed all over him.
After the challenge, we all hopped onto an ATV each, and did the route. The sun was just setting and it was just magical.
Had a bit of a break in the morning and wandered around the shops to buy a new pair of shoes because mine gave way after the sand dunes challenge.
Tried seeing Table Mountain but I only made it to the cable car boarding point, only to be told that it’s too windy for the cable cars to take us to the top. Of course, I refused to hike up.
Mother – Daughter Moment
I absolutely love these photos of Clare and I during one of her birthday celebrations.
Port Elizabeth, South Africa
En route to Port Elizabeth, South Africa, we spent a considerable amount of time at the Oman Airport (Can I just say, Omani Airlines my favourite, after Singapore Airlines, of course. Food is fantastic, and you don’t have to turn your electronics off during take off and landing.) We just thought the photo below was funny, since we were all labelled as ‘manpower’ at work.
Then we took the tiniest plane ever, to Port Elizabeth.
I love Port Elizabeth. I was in a game reserve and it was one of the most amazing things in the world. To be around animals without barriers, except for the more dangerous ones. I was in paradise.
