And It’s A Wrap!
Taken during a trip to Bali last year, at the very lovely Ku De Ta. Can’t believe I’m going back in a few days!
Starting from right now, at this moment, I am going on leave — just finished a photoshoot. I never thought I ever had to apply for leave with myself, but it’s a necessary evil. So for the next 10 days, I am not going to do anything, except recover. (Will be finishing up with meetings with clients and sending off photos, but no more photography or hard producing for a bit.)
I am also headed off to Bali for a few days, and all I’m going to do is read, sit by the beach, even out my tan (whatever is left of it), eat, swim and recharge.
And when I come back, I’m swinging back into many exciting projects and I can’t wait to tackle them all!
It’s All Just Chemicals
Addicted to Love
Overcoming heartbreak may be similar to kicking an addiction, say researchers studying brain images of the lovelorn. Scientists asked 15 college students who had recently been rejected by their romantic partners to look at pictures of their exes — with whom they were still deeply in love — and found that the most active areas of the students’ brains were those involved in motivation, craving, addiction and pain. The findings may help explain why feelings of romantic love and rejection are so hard to control. But the study also confirmed that time does heal a broken heart: the students who had been separated the longest had the weakest reaction to the pictures.
Adjusted
I took Clare to see a psychologist today. The adjustment issues she had, especially with regards to school, have not seemed to ease much and it got me worried. Although not constant, she has been telling me that she does not like school and doesn’t want to go to school. Sometimes she would cry and cling on to my legs for dear life, sometimes she kisses me and skips to class happily. I even checked with her teacher about whether she has been bullied or not.
Needless to say, given with what’s been going on at home, I worried whether it was having a delayed effect on her.
It was such a relief to have the psychologist say that there was nothing wrong with Clare and that she seemed to be a perfectly adjusted kid. (Save for the fact that she was watching an episode of ‘Family Guy’ on my iPad during the consultation.)
As earlier suspected, Clare gets extra clingy when she has to go back to the school routine, especially after having a break from school for a longer period of time. The psychologist said that it was all normal, especially with a working mum, because it just means she wants to spend more time with me. But she does not have separation anxiety, which is wonderful news. What was most important too, was to have further confirmation that I am not screwing up my child’s life by my own actions.
Clare and I left after the psychologist and I worked through ways of encouraging Clare to go to school without crying. This also made me realise the stress and guilt I was going through: while her dad and I have made peace with our decision to separate, it was hard to keep up a brave front when people (till this day) keep on questioning whether we are doing the right thing for Clare. I guess it slowly eats into you and further enhances your guilt. So every time Clare acts up, a large alarm bell in my head goes off as I silently blame myself for everything that could possibly lead her to behave this way.
I am blessed that despite all that, my child is actually adjusting well and is far from being screwed up. I love how she has a strong relationship with her parents, and that she knows that she is very loved. I’ve taught her to be expressive with her emotions and she often comes up to me, (quite out of the blue, too), to give me a kiss and a hug, and say ‘I love you’.
I felt a huge weight off my shoulders this afternoon, knowing that Clare is OK. At least I can now eradicate one source of guilt from the many others that haunt me every day.
iPadding
Journey Watch on the iPad
I finally got my hands on an iPad. I’ve been obsessing over it for weeks and decided to get it to treat myself for everything that I’ve been through lately. I got the 32GB 3G version and I have been having a great time so far. I was a little worried that it would be no more than a frivolous purchase for me, since I treat my iPhone very much like an iPad. But the user experience between both gadgets have both been very different.
I use the iPad for more reading — ebooks, emagazines and much more surfing on the web. Yes, I agree that reading an actual book and touching one would always be a favoured activity for most, but one can’t deny the extension of the experience that technology brings with more interactivity.
For example, I was just reading an issue of WIRED on the iPad, an article that talks about Industrial Light Magic’s 35th anniversary and had a video showing a compilation of some of their best movies and the magic they worked into them! I was quite blown away by the experience actually as it felt so surreal.
I love reading magazines on the iPad because it saves me from throwing them out when I’m done. I usually just rip out articles I want to keep and throw away the rest. Now it’s digital and we save some trees in the process. Win-win situation for all.
Even Clare is enjoying it aplenty, with more screen real estate than the iPhone has. Speaking of which, the little girl is turning into quite a drama queen. She woke up this morning, later than usual because she had no school, and promptly declared that she was tired. She then proceeded to whine, flop on the floor, wail … all of which expended way more energy than if she had just got into the bathroom to get ready. The photo below, was her in one of the various states of whining. I think it’s true that we pay back for all the crap we put our parents through when we were kids.
* This post was brought to you by the iPad.
Growing Too Fast
Taken with the iPhone, edited using TiltShift Generator app.
Producers Have Fun Too!
The final episode of Game On airs next Sunday. I can finally share some of the photos that I took during the course of producing the show. The great thing about this show was testing the games and doing many things that I had never done before. It was all kinds of awesome. The scariest being doing the ropes course at The Megazip Park. I was clinging on to it for dear life and bruised my knees massively. But zipping down the zip itself was so fun, I did it over and over again!
The Zorb ball. Or rather, the water hamster.
Me running uphill in the Zorb ball. Tiring and really uncomfortable on a hot day.
Looking for the perfect sumo suit. Our search was long and hard, I swear.
Still looking for the perfect sumo suit. This one was way too big for me!
We managed to get these suits from China instead. If only I can find a picture of the producers in their royal rumble.
Going to kart, looking like we were going to bathe.
Me climbing up to do the trapeze. One of the scariest moments of my life.
Taking a spill on the Flowrider.
Me kneeboarding. And burnt to crisp at the end of the day, after spending it in the sun testing about almost every game on the show.
Breaking out into a giggling fit because our challenge producer, Keir was having trouble trying to stab me in the chest, politely.
Riding the segway.
Riding down the Megazip.
The view from riding down the Megazip.
I was stuck out here for a bit because the wind was blowing against me.
Bruised knee from clinging onto the ropes at The Megazip Park.
No Regrets
Mani, The Parakeet
As usual, I had an interesting time covering this for a feature story for AP. I am a self-professed football non-fan and have not been able to understand the madness that surrounds it. Especially during World Cup season.
I’ve been hearing about this octopus, Paul, that predicted some results accurately. Now, we have Mani, the parakeet, from Singapore. Click here to read the news story. (He predicted a Holland win, by the way. Paul picked Spain. Let’s see which one gets cooked by angry fans.)
My Dad & I
Photo taken by John Heng. Taken during my extended family’s photoshoot, where I was running around taking photos and posing too, for five hours. Très épuisant!
This is my dad. The best of my qualities (at least in my opinion), come from him. The worst of my qualities, come from him too. It was not easy growing up with him, but I’m thankful for the recent years in which our relationship has improved in leaps and bounds and I’ve gotten support from him in so many ways. It’s always comforting to know that when the going gets super rough, my dad will always be the first person I can call.
Switching
It has been an intense 5 months of television producing for me. The first project, Game On, was probably only half as intense as the one after, with the past 2 months feeling very much like I was sucked into a black hole of work.
There were many moments in which I questioned myself over and over again why I was doing it. But there also have been many moments in which I’m thankful I am doing it. And now that it is all over, I’m grateful at having been given the opportunity to be part of it all.
At the end of it, my boss came up to me and said that I have no idea what I have achieved with this, and that while it will not hit me yet (because we were so caught up with doing the work), it will eventually hit me, the extent of what I accomplished.
It feels a little bizarre waking up and not feeling like I have a mountain-load of work to do. There is no stress of worrying about permits and paperwork. And the circuitry in my brain isn’t overloaded with information crossing all over the place.
The fatigue is finally setting in starting with me being almost completely passed out at my friend’s birthday party yesterday. Luckily, it was in her house. She took me around on the grand tour, I zoomed in on her bed and snuggled under the covers for the next few hours. I had another friend who popped in and kept on asking if I was ok but I was too passed out to answer or even attempt socialising. The only times I did wander out was to make a beeline for the table of food and scarfed down the roasted sweet potatoes which were ridiculously delicious at 2 in the morning. I basically spent the entire day today in my pyjamas, in my own bed.
I now have to switch out of producer mode and back to photographer mode. I can’t wait actually, although it feels kind of odd at the moment. It would be nice to gain some normalcy for a while, and also find some time to catch up with friends who have been patiently offering support while I desperately tried not to fall apart during the crazy moments of work and having my heart messed around.
This is now time for me. Time for me to rest, to heal, to grow and to be with Clare. It won’t be long before the madness starts again.
